Monday, June 26, 2006
My students finally took their exam on Saturday so nothing to do now except worry pointlessly until the results arrive in 6-8 weeks time. I'll continue to teach my non exam class in the interim but that's like a picnic after the pressure of 35 doctors, nurses and dentists who have never previously failed an exam in their life confronting their first serious English test.
I finally got round to weighing myself this morning and the news was not at all good. I decided that I need to lose 5 kilos as a matter of some urgency and then a further 15 at a more leisurely pace. Of course, the fact that I made this decision whilst eating a bag of crisps may call you to question my commitment to the project. Anyway, it's my birthday soon and no one ever loses weight on their birthday unless it's by throwing up the next day.
Current weight: 78.8 kg
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I finally got round to weighing myself this morning and the news was not at all good. I decided that I need to lose 5 kilos as a matter of some urgency and then a further 15 at a more leisurely pace. Of course, the fact that I made this decision whilst eating a bag of crisps may call you to question my commitment to the project. Anyway, it's my birthday soon and no one ever loses weight on their birthday unless it's by throwing up the next day.
Current weight: 78.8 kg
Friday, June 23, 2006
Friday and a day off. Hooray. Barring emergencies (in which case I get called in to do exam supervision) I should be off until Tuesday and, boy, do I need the rest.
Yesterday was the last day of the course. My doctors and nurses were in a complete panic because it was the last session before their exam on Saturday. I didn’t get any coffee breaks and lunch was a sandwich on the run. When they’d all finally gone home, I stayed late to sort out the paperwork. I arrived home feeling half depressed and half elated. Jim was at the pub so I had the house to myself. I put the electric blanket on and took a 500ml tub of triple chocolate fudge ice-cream to bed with me to watch an old episode of Dr Who. The ice-cream tub said on it, “For stress relief, remove lid. Serving suggestion: Put it in a bowl.” Do they know their market or what?
Actually, I didn’t put it in a bowl. I ate it straight out of the tub. Not because I’m a slob, (honest) but because I’ve often seen people do that on American sitcoms and wondered why. Mystery solved, they do it because they are slobs and because they can just keep eating without having to get up and go back to the freezer for a refill. You’ll be pleased to learn that I only ate the first inch or so but every mouthful was a delight. Now, it’s sitting in the fridge, calling to me, begging to be eaten. Jim is blissfully ignorant of its existence. Shall I mention it? Perhaps, but only after he’s just poured himself a Guinness. Nothing ruins the taste of beer like chocolate ice-cream.
Current weight: um, er, I keep forgetting to weigh myself.
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Yesterday was the last day of the course. My doctors and nurses were in a complete panic because it was the last session before their exam on Saturday. I didn’t get any coffee breaks and lunch was a sandwich on the run. When they’d all finally gone home, I stayed late to sort out the paperwork. I arrived home feeling half depressed and half elated. Jim was at the pub so I had the house to myself. I put the electric blanket on and took a 500ml tub of triple chocolate fudge ice-cream to bed with me to watch an old episode of Dr Who. The ice-cream tub said on it, “For stress relief, remove lid. Serving suggestion: Put it in a bowl.” Do they know their market or what?
Actually, I didn’t put it in a bowl. I ate it straight out of the tub. Not because I’m a slob, (honest) but because I’ve often seen people do that on American sitcoms and wondered why. Mystery solved, they do it because they are slobs and because they can just keep eating without having to get up and go back to the freezer for a refill. You’ll be pleased to learn that I only ate the first inch or so but every mouthful was a delight. Now, it’s sitting in the fridge, calling to me, begging to be eaten. Jim is blissfully ignorant of its existence. Shall I mention it? Perhaps, but only after he’s just poured himself a Guinness. Nothing ruins the taste of beer like chocolate ice-cream.
Current weight: um, er, I keep forgetting to weigh myself.
Monday, June 19, 2006
I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel but it was just some bastard with a torch bringing me more work.
Not original, but somehow very apt.
Current weight: er, I dunno, but I feel thinner.
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Not original, but somehow very apt.
Current weight: er, I dunno, but I feel thinner.
Monday, June 12, 2006
You'll be pleased to know I am fully recovered. Fighting fit now that I am back at the chalkface.
I'll keep today's entry short and sweet. Safe in the knowledge that no one will be reading it this month. Everyone will be watching the World Cup. I bade Jim a fond farewell a couple of days ago. He's still in the house, he just doesn't register my presence. He's totally tuned to the gogglebox. I'm not complaining, he still manages to cook dinner at half time.
Current weight: 76.2 kg.
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I'll keep today's entry short and sweet. Safe in the knowledge that no one will be reading it this month. Everyone will be watching the World Cup. I bade Jim a fond farewell a couple of days ago. He's still in the house, he just doesn't register my presence. He's totally tuned to the gogglebox. I'm not complaining, he still manages to cook dinner at half time.
Current weight: 76.2 kg.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Yes, I know I was supposed to weigh myself this morning but I forgot. Let's assume, however, that I am lighter now than I was before I started throwing up, and move swiftly on.
Jim says that I haven't taken a day's sick leave in 15 years but he only has to plan a weekend away and I come over all queasy. He could be right.
This weekend we drove to Kalgoorlie, a mining town 650 kms east of Perth. We went there once twelve years ago but I got sick and didn't get to do any of the tourist stuff so we thought we'd go and try again.
So there we were at the mine entrance ready to start the underground tour (not my idea, I can assure you) and the woman on the door who has grilled all the previous customers about their concession card status just charged us the lower rate and ushered us in.
I caught sight of myself in a window as we passed and realized why we passed as 'care in the community' candidates without question: I was wearing ALL my clothes because it was so cold. I looked spherical. The impression was enhanced by the fagin-esque quality of my fingerless gloves and the black woolen beanie that covered all of my hair. Hey, bald is beautiful. My much loved red Rockport boots had chosen this weekend to wear down to a hole in the sole so I was limping a little. My pupils were doubtless dilated from the codeine, planet Earth seemed a long way from my reality. And then there was the finishing touch of a little dried vomit on the hem of my jeans. Clearly, here was a woman who should not be left unattended.
Drug-assisted, I dozed through the entire weekend. Today is a public holiday. I'm still feeling a little fragile but I'm sure to be fine tomorrow coz it's back to work.
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Jim says that I haven't taken a day's sick leave in 15 years but he only has to plan a weekend away and I come over all queasy. He could be right.
This weekend we drove to Kalgoorlie, a mining town 650 kms east of Perth. We went there once twelve years ago but I got sick and didn't get to do any of the tourist stuff so we thought we'd go and try again.
So there we were at the mine entrance ready to start the underground tour (not my idea, I can assure you) and the woman on the door who has grilled all the previous customers about their concession card status just charged us the lower rate and ushered us in.
I caught sight of myself in a window as we passed and realized why we passed as 'care in the community' candidates without question: I was wearing ALL my clothes because it was so cold. I looked spherical. The impression was enhanced by the fagin-esque quality of my fingerless gloves and the black woolen beanie that covered all of my hair. Hey, bald is beautiful. My much loved red Rockport boots had chosen this weekend to wear down to a hole in the sole so I was limping a little. My pupils were doubtless dilated from the codeine, planet Earth seemed a long way from my reality. And then there was the finishing touch of a little dried vomit on the hem of my jeans. Clearly, here was a woman who should not be left unattended.
Drug-assisted, I dozed through the entire weekend. Today is a public holiday. I'm still feeling a little fragile but I'm sure to be fine tomorrow coz it's back to work.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Only in Oz
Due to sins in a past life I get to teach a group of 20 teachers from Hong Kong when they arrive in Aus next month for heavy sessions of pragmatics and discourse analysis. Yawning already? Yeah, me too. They attend the lectures and then my job is to explain anything they can't grasp. Of course, this requires me to stay awake during the lectures or to at least be pretty swift with b.s. but it's winter and the dosh will keep the wolf from the door, so never mind.
Anyway, I digress. Today was the first big meeting of all interested parties. Ten minutes into the meeting there was a crash as D.'s shopping bag fell from the chair to the floor. "***!" She exclaimed. "It's my joey."
"Er, what? For a moment there, I thought you said, 'Joey'" I murmured.
Yup, at that point a baby kangaroo hopped out of the bag and batted its eyelashes at us. For the rest of the meeting it jumped around and kept us well entertained. I've had to avoid treading on toes at meetings before now but this is the first time I've had a 'roo sit on my toes as I tried to make a point.
Only in Australia.
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Due to sins in a past life I get to teach a group of 20 teachers from Hong Kong when they arrive in Aus next month for heavy sessions of pragmatics and discourse analysis. Yawning already? Yeah, me too. They attend the lectures and then my job is to explain anything they can't grasp. Of course, this requires me to stay awake during the lectures or to at least be pretty swift with b.s. but it's winter and the dosh will keep the wolf from the door, so never mind.
Anyway, I digress. Today was the first big meeting of all interested parties. Ten minutes into the meeting there was a crash as D.'s shopping bag fell from the chair to the floor. "***!" She exclaimed. "It's my joey."
"Er, what? For a moment there, I thought you said, 'Joey'" I murmured.
Yup, at that point a baby kangaroo hopped out of the bag and batted its eyelashes at us. For the rest of the meeting it jumped around and kept us well entertained. I've had to avoid treading on toes at meetings before now but this is the first time I've had a 'roo sit on my toes as I tried to make a point.
Only in Australia.
