Sunday, November 27, 2005
Current weight? Don't know and don't dare look. The visitor season has started and I'm eating out far too regularly. Perhaps I should worry about something other than my weight for a change.
I read a magazine article this week. It discussed 'all the little things we worry about.' Do we? Well, having perused the list, I've decided to just stick to worrying about my weight. Here's a selection of supposedly typical preoccupations. If your particular worries aren't listed here then feel free to email me and I'll tackle them next week. The Demented Dieter is guaranteed to put your fears to rest.
Does my house smell?
I certainly hope so. I've been nailing kippers to the underside of the guest bed for years now in the hope of discouraging visitors but it has proved entirely ineffective.
Am I a dud in bed?
Absolutely. I even snore loudly. And yet somehow I have failed to worry about this even a little.
Who will turn up at my funeral?
I plan to be buried at sea so anyone who wants to dance on my grave is free to do so.
Can other people see my earwax?
I've certainly never been aware of other people's earwax... until now. As from tomorrow I'll be checking out other people's ears. You have been warned.
I shouldn't have bought those shoes.
I hate buying shoes. I only ever buy new shoes when my last pair of old favourites fall from my feet and I have to limp barefoot into the shoe shop.
Will I want to sleep with someone other than my husband in ten years time?
In ten years time I'll be sixty. If I can find ANYONE including my husband who's willing to sleep with me I'll be thrilled to bits.
Will my kids have stunted growth if they don't eat their veg?
This link between veg and growth is a total myth. My Mum forced me to eat my veg and look how that turned out? I'm knee-high to a duck in my platform soles.
If I drink red wine, will I get ruddy cheeks?
Sure, but if you avoid looking in the mirror, you don't have to worry about it. Anyway, when you are as pasty as me, a little red can only improve matters.
Are people looking in my trolley thinking I'm a greedy pig?
I'm certainly looking in their trolley and thinking the same thing so we're quits on that one. I usually place a large sign round my neck saying "shopping for the staff tea fund" so people know that the 15 packets of Tim Tams are not all for me.
Is an asteroid going to hit my house?
Yes. Yes it is. In fact, there it is now. Omigod.... argh!
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I read a magazine article this week. It discussed 'all the little things we worry about.' Do we? Well, having perused the list, I've decided to just stick to worrying about my weight. Here's a selection of supposedly typical preoccupations. If your particular worries aren't listed here then feel free to email me and I'll tackle them next week. The Demented Dieter is guaranteed to put your fears to rest.
Does my house smell?
I certainly hope so. I've been nailing kippers to the underside of the guest bed for years now in the hope of discouraging visitors but it has proved entirely ineffective.
Am I a dud in bed?
Absolutely. I even snore loudly. And yet somehow I have failed to worry about this even a little.
Who will turn up at my funeral?
I plan to be buried at sea so anyone who wants to dance on my grave is free to do so.
Can other people see my earwax?
I've certainly never been aware of other people's earwax... until now. As from tomorrow I'll be checking out other people's ears. You have been warned.
I shouldn't have bought those shoes.
I hate buying shoes. I only ever buy new shoes when my last pair of old favourites fall from my feet and I have to limp barefoot into the shoe shop.
Will I want to sleep with someone other than my husband in ten years time?
In ten years time I'll be sixty. If I can find ANYONE including my husband who's willing to sleep with me I'll be thrilled to bits.
Will my kids have stunted growth if they don't eat their veg?
This link between veg and growth is a total myth. My Mum forced me to eat my veg and look how that turned out? I'm knee-high to a duck in my platform soles.
If I drink red wine, will I get ruddy cheeks?
Sure, but if you avoid looking in the mirror, you don't have to worry about it. Anyway, when you are as pasty as me, a little red can only improve matters.
Are people looking in my trolley thinking I'm a greedy pig?
I'm certainly looking in their trolley and thinking the same thing so we're quits on that one. I usually place a large sign round my neck saying "shopping for the staff tea fund" so people know that the 15 packets of Tim Tams are not all for me.
Is an asteroid going to hit my house?
Yes. Yes it is. In fact, there it is now. Omigod.... argh!
Friday, November 25, 2005
Personality Quiz fun test site - Ice Cream test
What does your favourite ice-cream flavour say about your personality? Who could resist. Of course, they didn't have exactly my favourite flavour but I suppose chocolate is close enough.
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What does your favourite ice-cream flavour say about your personality? Who could resist. Of course, they didn't have exactly my favourite flavour but I suppose chocolate is close enough.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Current weight: 77.4 kg
I know you are too polite to mention it but it's an increase, isn't it? I blame the butter. We don't usually buy butter. I think there is a clause in my life insurance policy somewhere that says I'm not allowed to have butter on the premises until my cholesterol level drops three points. However, my in-laws are visiting shortly and they are accustomed to ingesting huge amounts of Lurpack on a daily basis so Jim thought we'd better start acclimatizing ourselves. I'm not entirely convinced that this is the right approach but as he does all the cooking ...
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I know you are too polite to mention it but it's an increase, isn't it? I blame the butter. We don't usually buy butter. I think there is a clause in my life insurance policy somewhere that says I'm not allowed to have butter on the premises until my cholesterol level drops three points. However, my in-laws are visiting shortly and they are accustomed to ingesting huge amounts of Lurpack on a daily basis so Jim thought we'd better start acclimatizing ourselves. I'm not entirely convinced that this is the right approach but as he does all the cooking ...
Monday, November 07, 2005
It doesn't take much to make me happy. A scoop of ice-cream will do it every time. So imagine my delight when I found (after a two-year search) my all time favourite B&R flavour at the local parlour. Yes! Last experienced in Byron Bay over east, only ever available during Oktoberfest: German chocolate cake is back! It's an excellent combination of rich chocolate, coconut and a drizzle of caramel sauce. To accompany I had a scoop of Leonardo di Chocolate. Delicious for those who like marzipan. (Surely the only part of a Christmas cake worth eating?)
Weightwatchers points allowance for a day is about 18 points. One scoop of premium ice-cream is around 6 points. This probably wasn't what they had in mind but I reckon it was 12 points well spent.
Current weight: 76.6 kg
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Weightwatchers points allowance for a day is about 18 points. One scoop of premium ice-cream is around 6 points. This probably wasn't what they had in mind but I reckon it was 12 points well spent.
Current weight: 76.6 kg
